Moving into a CCRC was a fantastic decision, says this healthy and active senior couple, who drafted their own FAQ list to answer any critics who think they’ve given up on socializing and living independently.
Greg and Evelyn Hadley, both in their 70s, sold their home and moved into a CCRC in Lake Oswego, Oregon. According to the New Old Age, a New York Times blog, some friends and family questioned their decision. To quiet these skeptics, Greg Hadley wrote an essay “a sort of FAQ,” says blogger Paula Span, who presents them like this:
Q. But you are so young and healthy!
A. Yes, and we are very grateful. But we might not stay healthy forever. We find it very comforting that our community allows us to migrate from our current independent living status into assisted living, skilled nursing and even a memory unit if and when we should require that.
Q. Why would you want to live with a bunch of old people on canes, walkers and scooters?
A. We learned early on that our neighbors all had very interesting stories to tell and had led accomplished lives. People are not defined by their canes, walkers or scooters. Many are very talented, intellectually stimulating and a lot of fun to be with.
Q. What did you do with all the lovely things you had in your home?
A. We sold them or gave them away. Our children really didn’t want much of what we had, except for small mementos. We thought a lot of our stuff was important but learned that it wasn’t. Our lives are not defined by what we have accumulated. We want our lives to be defined by who we are.
Q. It costs so much money. How can you afford to live there?
A. When we sold our home, the equity was more than sufficient to cover the buy-in fee, most of which will be returned to our estate. Planning our move, we carefully considered what would be covered by the monthly charges and what would be eliminated. For example, we no longer have to pay property tax, a gardener, home repairs or utility bills (except telephone). On the other hand, lots of things are included in our monthly charges, like 20 meals per month per person, maid service every two weeks, all repairs and maintenance, a wellness center with up-to-date fitness equipment, a long list of activities. We determined that we spent about $10,000 less on daily living during our first year here than we had the last year we were in our house.
Q. Aren’t you giving up a lot of privacy?
A. If you seek privacy, it is very easy to find here. All of us have a cocoon called our apartment or villa. If you disdain the social interaction in the hallways, restaurants and other gathering places, that is your choice and no one will nag you about it. For us, the social interaction is one of the very best things about living in our retirement community. We have never felt so much a part of a vibrant community.
Q. You’re going to cut yourself off from all your old friends and neighbors.
A. Come on, that’s just nonsense. When you moved to a new home or town earlier in life, did you stop staying in touch? Our CCRC is about 10 miles from where we previously lived. We still see old neighbors and friends and delight in entertaining them here. You will only be cut off if you want to be.
Q. I can count on my children to help me out.
A. Of course you can; they love you and want what is best for you. But is that what you want? Do you wish to burden them with caring for you while at the same time they are probably raising their own families and are at the most productive time in their careers?
When my wife and I decided to move into a CCRC, just before Christmas, we told each of our six children that our decision represented the most significant gift we had ever given them. Never will they experience the gut-wrenching anxiety of trying to figure out what to do with us. We are in a safe place now. No matter what the future brings, we can receive the level of end-of-life care that we needed. Don’t burden your children with your elderly care. They will be anxious and troubled enough as they walk with you to the end.
Read the full blog entry, “The Bright Side of CCRCs”.
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